For many, tonight marks Christmas Eve, and this time of year is abundant with celebrations from all different cultures and religions! My hope is that whatever you celebrate, you are filled with joy!
My gift to you this evening is my most recent short story:
“Free Ice Cream on Wednesdays”
‘Twas the dog days of summer, not a cloud in the sky.
People’s ACs were breaking, many wells had run dry.
Neighbor turned against neighbor; they lost all control.
Escaping the heat was the number one goal.
That’s when Blinky McDoodles and Goober MacGee
Made a plan that was brilliant — superb as could be.
They would start selling ice cream, but not by the cone.
They would sell it in buckets, they just needed a loan.
So proud as two peacocks, they marched to the bank,
And gave their proposal to a teller named Frank.
Frank was delighted and endorsed them in full.
His dad was the manager, so he had extra pull.
With the money secured, and the sun beating down
They needed a way to spread word through the town.
So, they called up Old Ned, sign maker supreme,
And the sign he designed was the sign of their dreams.
It was big as a billboard with colors so bright
No one could miss it, not even at night.
Now they just needed ice cream, a giant supply,
And lucky for them, good Old Ned knew a guy.
Once they had all the ice cream, and bought all the pails,
They opened for business and were ready for sales.
But they couldn’t predict what would happen next,
No one came to buy ice cream, and that left them perplexed.
It was hotter than a jalapeno sitting in Hell,
Surely their ice cream should be easy to sell.
They refused to give up, they would see this plan through.
After all, they’d just started, and the business was new.
The next day was better, but their sales were quite low,
And they had so much ice cream, it just had to go.
They decided to eat some, as much as they could.
After all, it was ice cream, and ice cream is good.
Blinky took the first bite, he just shoveled it in.
Goober waited and watched and then started to grin
Because Blinky’s poor face was distorted with pain
From the icy dessert that had frozen his brain.
Goober hooted with laughter at poor Blinky’s plight.
His brain freeze reaction had made Goober’s night.
“Let’s try a promotion,” Goober said with a smirk,
“Free Ice Cream Wednesdays, who knows, it might work.”
So, they sent out some flyers, with a headline that read:
“Have you ever been so hot, you wished you were dead?
If so, come for ice cream this Wednesday, it’s free!
You will leave satisfied, that is our guarantee!”
On Wednesday morning when they opened the shop
People lined up for ice cream, and they didn’t stop.
The promo went smoothly, the day flew by fast,
And the patrons left satisfied, cooled off at last.
Free ice cream Wednesday had been a success
And it helped to alleviate people’s distress.
It didn’t just cool them, it put them at ease,
Even with a few cases of dreaded brain freeze.
“Well, Goober,” said Blinky, “That was quite an idea.”
“I don’t know,” replied Goober, “It gave me diarrhea.
As I scooped out the ice cream, I kept stuffing my face,
And I’m lactose intolerant — I’m such a disgrace!”
“How can I sell ice cream? I feel like a fraud.”
Then to Goober’s surprise, Blinky started to nod.
“Goober, my friend, I just had a thought,
Why don’t we add lactose-free to the lot?”
From that day forward, the men had agreed
They would cater to every digestible need,
Be it lactose intolerance or gluten-free,
Satisfaction for all would be their decree.
So it was that a brain freeze inspired a dream,
A super delicious, heat-conquering scheme
Now every Wednesday, the ice cream is free
Thanks to Blinky McDoodles and Goober MacGee
Best wishes to all for a spectacular New Year!